Hi I just thought we'd have a little catch up...
Well last week was a good week, the gig was amazing but what was even more amazing was the response my little blog got. In three days my blog got 100 views, mind blowing to be honest my average daily views totals at about 15 on a good day. The best thing was that people didn't just like it for the fact I was writing about bands they had seen or like, people were saying they like my writing. I know that you regular readers have commented on liking my writing before, but it's sort of like when your Mum tells you your beautiful and you don't believe her because she's has to say it she's your Mum. Then a stranger comes along and gives you a compliment and your all like wow thanks. I know shameful. So with the new found confidence and the advice you sweet readers gave me before about sit down to write and the thoughts will come, My aim is to post regularly 3 times a week at least not the same days every week and some times it may be more but I trying to make writing my output.
Secondly this blog is me just as I am, no agenda or falseness, so the other night at the gig and from my post I realised that music always has and always will be a huge part of my life. It's like a friend just because I'm having a rough time and it's not doing what I want it to doesn't mean I can give up on it. So there will be more music on the blog. No actual music I promise. (I hate those websites that have music and you can't figure out how to turn it off grrr!) It won't be over the top oooo I wrote one music posts and it really grabbed an audience lets become a music blog, it will be just a, this week I'm spending every hour listening to... Or the occasional this album is amazing and I think you'd like it too.
Lastly I'm sure if you are a bride to be that you have already got A Practical Wedding in your google reader or RSS feed. If you haven't you should so stop planning take a pause from the stress and for God's sake start at the beginning. It will save your soul!! A while back I thought that the boyfriend and I really need to plan not the wedding but the type of marriage we wish to have. It's a whole life time living as individuals in a couple and I want to be sure there is not something serious that we have forgotten to discuss. We will be taking wedding counselling with our Priest but I'd like to know where we stand before we get to that point. As always a few days ago A Practical Wedding jumped to advise with this post Ask Team Practical: Books for Brides & Wives.
Two that came highly recommended were Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do. I am currently looking into getting the second book. I did buy Miss Manners' Guide last night on my kindle. It is amazing I can't put it down it should be a wedding gift for all brides to be. It's like all the sense and reason your mother should be telling you but she's too busy measuring her hat! I'm only a couple of chapters in and already changing my views about the wedding. To be honest we all already know that what Miss Manners says is completely correct but we read wedding magazines and get caught up in the competition of it all. Once I have read it all I will report back and start to plan out wedding.
I hope you are all well and happy
Love
Simone
xxxx
Showing posts with label day to day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label day to day. Show all posts
Monday, 24 January 2011
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
Starting to feel as though someone's out to get me...
On Sunday night at midnight I was completely fine cuddled up to the boyfriend watching 'How I Met Your Mother' an hour later my left shoulder starts to ache and the ache becomes serious pain not because I'm moving it, its just increasing. This pain starts to move down to my elbow and my hand starts going numb with pins and needles. The boyfriend looks up my symptoms and tells me he can't find anything thing. He is Lying to me. He makes me call NHS Direct.
I fight him on this matter telling him it's probably nothing. (I always under play sickness something drilled into me by my Mum) He starts to look very nervous when I do this, I know he has found something he's not telling me so I panic.
Me: "What did you find just tell me!"
Him: "Please don't panic but this can be the symptoms of a heart attack..."
I'm on the phone to NHS Direct tell them my symptoms the woman sounds worried, but they have no free nurses to talk to me and they say they will call me back. I'm feeling so much worse I'm starting to shake, I'm crying because the pain and I'm scared. They call me back the nurse asks me if I've ever had a heart attack before...! I haven't I'm so scared so is the boyfriend.
They send a paramedic and he does some test, he's not really saying anything apart from wait for the ambulance to get here. It is here soon after and the do an ECG and check my blood pressure and confirm I'm not having a heart attack... thank God! As the fear is going away I realise we have no money to get home Kyle runs in to get some. But neither of us have coats on I'm wearing bed shocks and pumps I'm going to regret this later. I feel silly now they made me think it was a heart attack and now I'm going to hospital it could be nothing.
We get to hospital and the pain is moving its all in my mouth, neck and back. I have a terrible headache. We have to wait for 4 hours to see someone despite being the only people in A&E. The waiting is fine to start with we were just grateful it wasn't a heart attack but the longer we're there tiredness sets in and my pain gets worse. Finally I do get to see a doctor and he makes me feel a bit stupid he tells me I've got acid reflux which means my stomach acid come up out of stomach and burns my insides. He sends me home without giving me any thing.
We get outside I cry I feel so stupid. The boyfriend will now miss work, we have to get the bus home its freezing and we have no coats. I'm so embarrassed I don't say a word all the way home. All I'm thinking is so far in the last month I've lost my job, I've realised I'm not really in touch with any of my friends and I've been taken to hospital and feels so stupid. We have to walk quiet away from away from the bus stop to home. I'm in pain, freezing cold and can't really breath.
We get in we've both had enough it's been a rubbish night the boyfriend makes me tea which in my tired state I spill on myself and burn my hand. This is the final straw I burst into tears and run off to bed but there is no comfortable way to sleep.
The whole night the boyfriend was amazing I really don't know what I would have done without him. This acid reflux means I will have to completely change my diet. Its a day later and I'm still sore.
So that was my rubbish Sunday night.
Love
Simone
xxxx
I fight him on this matter telling him it's probably nothing. (I always under play sickness something drilled into me by my Mum) He starts to look very nervous when I do this, I know he has found something he's not telling me so I panic.
Me: "What did you find just tell me!"
Him: "Please don't panic but this can be the symptoms of a heart attack..."
I'm on the phone to NHS Direct tell them my symptoms the woman sounds worried, but they have no free nurses to talk to me and they say they will call me back. I'm feeling so much worse I'm starting to shake, I'm crying because the pain and I'm scared. They call me back the nurse asks me if I've ever had a heart attack before...! I haven't I'm so scared so is the boyfriend.
They send a paramedic and he does some test, he's not really saying anything apart from wait for the ambulance to get here. It is here soon after and the do an ECG and check my blood pressure and confirm I'm not having a heart attack... thank God! As the fear is going away I realise we have no money to get home Kyle runs in to get some. But neither of us have coats on I'm wearing bed shocks and pumps I'm going to regret this later. I feel silly now they made me think it was a heart attack and now I'm going to hospital it could be nothing.
We get to hospital and the pain is moving its all in my mouth, neck and back. I have a terrible headache. We have to wait for 4 hours to see someone despite being the only people in A&E. The waiting is fine to start with we were just grateful it wasn't a heart attack but the longer we're there tiredness sets in and my pain gets worse. Finally I do get to see a doctor and he makes me feel a bit stupid he tells me I've got acid reflux which means my stomach acid come up out of stomach and burns my insides. He sends me home without giving me any thing.
We get outside I cry I feel so stupid. The boyfriend will now miss work, we have to get the bus home its freezing and we have no coats. I'm so embarrassed I don't say a word all the way home. All I'm thinking is so far in the last month I've lost my job, I've realised I'm not really in touch with any of my friends and I've been taken to hospital and feels so stupid. We have to walk quiet away from away from the bus stop to home. I'm in pain, freezing cold and can't really breath.
We get in we've both had enough it's been a rubbish night the boyfriend makes me tea which in my tired state I spill on myself and burn my hand. This is the final straw I burst into tears and run off to bed but there is no comfortable way to sleep.
The whole night the boyfriend was amazing I really don't know what I would have done without him. This acid reflux means I will have to completely change my diet. Its a day later and I'm still sore.
So that was my rubbish Sunday night.
Love
Simone
xxxx
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Monday, 3 January 2011
It really does,,,
Hello most loved readers, yes I'm back I know my last post would have given the feeling that I had found myself a hole and I had laid down and died in it... Well it was close but here I am standing, breathing and optimistic. That's right no depression sneaking back in over here, I talked it all through with the boyfriend every single feeling, (bottling it up is not the answer... ever!) I had 5 or 6 very long baths with candles and music and had a good old talking to myself. I came to the conclusion we're still doing twice as well as we were last year, the boyfriend still has his job and the mother-in-law to be is lovely and fine about the whole situation. We don't own a place the only commitments we have are our phone bills and they are in the boyfriends name. We got the things we desperately needed when we had no money, with the job just gone.
But the picture pretty much sums up how I have been feeling, as a kid I never fitted in a longed to be older, to have a say, to be in charge because I had dreams and knew what I wanted, now I'm here and it does truly suck some times and I think what did I think would be so magical about having to be the one handling everything? I was crazy, any chance I could go back? yeah thought not.
So with that in mind I figured I'm 20 I'm not meant to have it all figured out right? I know people twice as old as me that never found a 'path'. So I the plan for now is get a job, yes any job, even retail (shudder!) and while there look for a better job it is always easier to find a job when you have one. Also look into courses to get me where I want to be, I 'd love to work with children, day care or nursery but the real goal in the end is primary school teacher I'm not sure how you get there without doing uni full time but I will find out. Also working in retail in the mean time means I get to wear lovely clothes as uniform and have my hair any way I like so I'm looking for a bright side.
I will make this year awesome even if it kills me. It's sort of freeing in away to look at your life and just think, yeah I have no idea what comes next, but what if its great... The boyfriend goes back to work on Tuesday so will do Christmas catch-up then. But enough about me how are all of you?
Love
Simone
xxxx
But the picture pretty much sums up how I have been feeling, as a kid I never fitted in a longed to be older, to have a say, to be in charge because I had dreams and knew what I wanted, now I'm here and it does truly suck some times and I think what did I think would be so magical about having to be the one handling everything? I was crazy, any chance I could go back? yeah thought not.
So with that in mind I figured I'm 20 I'm not meant to have it all figured out right? I know people twice as old as me that never found a 'path'. So I the plan for now is get a job, yes any job, even retail (shudder!) and while there look for a better job it is always easier to find a job when you have one. Also look into courses to get me where I want to be, I 'd love to work with children, day care or nursery but the real goal in the end is primary school teacher I'm not sure how you get there without doing uni full time but I will find out. Also working in retail in the mean time means I get to wear lovely clothes as uniform and have my hair any way I like so I'm looking for a bright side.
I will make this year awesome even if it kills me. It's sort of freeing in away to look at your life and just think, yeah I have no idea what comes next, but what if its great... The boyfriend goes back to work on Tuesday so will do Christmas catch-up then. But enough about me how are all of you?
Love
Simone
xxxx
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Disheartened...
Today I brought a wedding magazine I used to do this a few times a month, now I do it maybe once every 4 months.
Today I got one because I'm not really one to follow celebrities, I guess I just don't care enough about who another person is dating, what/who they are wearing or if they are perceived as far or thin this week. I find fashion magazines off putting as a larger person I find these magazine are not made for me. Not only that but they are just not my style. So I got the wedding mag as a fall back, last resort if you will.
I have had it mear hours and I'm irritated firstly at myself for spending £5 on a mag (I could have got a book, always look for a book before even looking at the bridal mags, come now Simone!) that I should have known would have left me irritated and without inspiration.
But mostly I'm irritated at bridal magazines for a whole year they advertise the same dresses, the same themes, the same honeymoons just in different colours and with different models and each time they charge £5! The two things that really opened my eyes on this occasion were,
1. Here get this celebrities wedding look for your self, here is a similar wedding dress/engagement ring for £10,000! I kid you not they haven't even tried to scale this down.
2. After looking through pages of adverts for the must have dresses and looking at the must have dress styles for 2011 they have a piece written by an 'expert' on wedding dresses. It says brides should look for a timeless dress so when you look back on your wedding photos it won't look dated. Seriously you can't see the irony in printing this wedding mag? After all that selling and all the adverts (my god there are so many!) the 'experts' answer is ignore the wedding mag.
I guess my point is I'm glad I found blogs, yes they still have trends, what's in and what isn't but there is far more variety. Blogs are much more accommodating to a couple on a budget, hey even to a couple at all. (four pages that's all that grooms to be got in the mag) There is a much greater range of themes, colours, people on blogs than in the mags and I honestly don't think I'll buy another but I would find it much more difficult to give up blogs.
Also on a personal moan I'm just not getting off the ground with our wedding, my mum is done with weddings now since my sister had hers, my dad is trying to push my other sister's fiance into setting a date, (hello ready and raring to go over here) the boyfriends new motto to everything is can't it wait till the new year and my best friend/maid of honour is living it up at uni.
Also to add to my wedding planning blues the I don't need a real diamond or even a costly fake engagement ring, ring turned my finger green so I am once again without engagement ring. I know that this doesn't make our engagement or intent to marry any less its just, I know the things I want are a way off into the future, laptop, wedding, flat and baby (funny how things the boyfriend wants such as xbox and fast internet are always sorted... just saying) but I am engaged I love being engaged and I would very much like a ring... *grumble grumble stamp foot and pout*
Sorry for all the ranting, feel free to rant right back,
Love
Simone
xxxx
Today I got one because I'm not really one to follow celebrities, I guess I just don't care enough about who another person is dating, what/who they are wearing or if they are perceived as far or thin this week. I find fashion magazines off putting as a larger person I find these magazine are not made for me. Not only that but they are just not my style. So I got the wedding mag as a fall back, last resort if you will.
I have had it mear hours and I'm irritated firstly at myself for spending £5 on a mag (I could have got a book, always look for a book before even looking at the bridal mags, come now Simone!) that I should have known would have left me irritated and without inspiration.
But mostly I'm irritated at bridal magazines for a whole year they advertise the same dresses, the same themes, the same honeymoons just in different colours and with different models and each time they charge £5! The two things that really opened my eyes on this occasion were,
1. Here get this celebrities wedding look for your self, here is a similar wedding dress/engagement ring for £10,000! I kid you not they haven't even tried to scale this down.
2. After looking through pages of adverts for the must have dresses and looking at the must have dress styles for 2011 they have a piece written by an 'expert' on wedding dresses. It says brides should look for a timeless dress so when you look back on your wedding photos it won't look dated. Seriously you can't see the irony in printing this wedding mag? After all that selling and all the adverts (my god there are so many!) the 'experts' answer is ignore the wedding mag.
I guess my point is I'm glad I found blogs, yes they still have trends, what's in and what isn't but there is far more variety. Blogs are much more accommodating to a couple on a budget, hey even to a couple at all. (four pages that's all that grooms to be got in the mag) There is a much greater range of themes, colours, people on blogs than in the mags and I honestly don't think I'll buy another but I would find it much more difficult to give up blogs.
Also on a personal moan I'm just not getting off the ground with our wedding, my mum is done with weddings now since my sister had hers, my dad is trying to push my other sister's fiance into setting a date, (hello ready and raring to go over here) the boyfriends new motto to everything is can't it wait till the new year and my best friend/maid of honour is living it up at uni.
Also to add to my wedding planning blues the I don't need a real diamond or even a costly fake engagement ring, ring turned my finger green so I am once again without engagement ring. I know that this doesn't make our engagement or intent to marry any less its just, I know the things I want are a way off into the future, laptop, wedding, flat and baby (funny how things the boyfriend wants such as xbox and fast internet are always sorted... just saying) but I am engaged I love being engaged and I would very much like a ring... *grumble grumble stamp foot and pout*
Sorry for all the ranting, feel free to rant right back,
Love
Simone
xxxx
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Monday, 6 December 2010
Oh what a week...
So I haven't posted since last Monday, I promised I would fill you all in about my Sisters wedding and then I sort of disappeared sorry about that but what a week it was!
Sunday: I stayed up till midnight because I got paid from my new job that I haven't actually started yet because they are waiting for my CRB check to come back. Yeah I know it sounds to good to be true, (that’s why I waited up) but its actually happening, the month before Christmas and I haven't actually even been trained for the job yet! So being the optimist I am I brought all my Christmas presents online right there and then before some one realised they had made a mistake and would try to take it all back. (They never did try to take it back!) Then it was time for bed as the boyfriend had work the next morning.
Monday: The boyfriend and I got up; He got ready for work I made his lunch and sorted washing a boring stuff like that I posted on the blog. The we met on the bus the boyfriend gets home from work that if you stay on it goes all the way to a Lakeside shopping centre. We tried Gourmet Burger for the first time we loved it!
Also they serve Coca-Cola in the glass bottles boyfriend commented when he saw them about how happy he knew I would be. (First picture with the boyfriend in well sort of) So having just been paid we did the only thing to do spend it! I had after all sorted all my Christmas presents so we treated ourselves :) Also I booked an appointment at the opticians because not having the right glasses was now making me have headaches and feel sick!
Tuesday: The boyfriend felt rubbish the next day sometimes he just gets these hideous stomach ache and is sick for no reason what so ever, in the middle of the night we had decided that he wouldn't be going to work the next day. When we woke and opened the curtains there was snow... everywhere! But I had made my appointment at the opticians and was determined that a bit of snow wouldn't stop me. I got to the bus stop the bus arrived on time (I was shocked) it took slightly longer to get to Lakeside, but as the bus got closer all the outside parking was empty! Not a car in sight I thought it was closed it wasn't but inside it was pretty dead! I had my eye test done I had already picked out my frames they were Huge Boss frames that would cost £140 which almost killed me.
*Sorry for the horrible picture I will explain*
I'm really picky about frames because
1. I have a huge head and wide face, which means normally glasses look tiny on my face.
2. I hate this new trend of skinny glasses because all I do is look over and under them.
3. If they are not wide then I constantly notice the frame and it drives me crazy!
So I thought old school Ray Bans might be a good option I have been looking at them for well over a year and half but when actually tried them on they are tiny, made my head look huge. Also now every other hipster is now wear them! So not cool. (Sound like my mother) So I have the perfect frames then they inform me that lenses will be another £100!!! I don't really have a lot of choice but they say if I do have stuff to do then they can have them ready in 1 hour, £240 for glasses I should hope so lol. So I went and got some pyjamas, (See above picture.) and went and had something to eat. Got my glasses LOVE them and head of to the bus stop...
Well this is where it all goes wrong when I get to the bus stop it is like a blizzard out side the snow is seriously deep and it's freezing! I got to the bus stop at 4.45pm all other buses are coming every 20 minuets, my bus is delayed so I wait... and I wait, someone asks another bus driver if our bus is still running he informs us that it is, so I wait. Then I call the boyfriend to tell him what’s going on and he tells me it took his Mum an hour and a half to drive home from close to Lakeside to our house! Which meant even when the bus did turn up I wouldn't be home for ages. Ok its fine I said I wasn't going to let the snow get in my way. (Although it was sort of kicking my ass)
*This is me time with my new glases on waiting in the cold for the bus, I'm so bored*
I kid you not at 6.30pm our bus is still nowhere in sight, but every other bus is still coming every 20 minuets! So I text the Future Mother-In-Law and explain how long I have been waiting and that I am hearing they have closed the QE2 bridge that you sort of have to go near in order to get home by bus and that it will take me hours even if the bus does turn up. She at that point is cooking, she says if the bus is not there by 7.30pm she will come and get me (this is huge the weather was shocking! I could have kissed her) I am very grateful, happy even and then my phone flashes...
Low battery please connect charger less 10%. OH COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK! I have to turn my phone off and keep asking the people that are also stuck what the time is, and slowly they are getting picked up or taking other buses. I finally text at 7.20pm I really don't think the bus is going to show. I get a speedy reply of we're on our way! (Love the boyfriend and his Mum) But an hour later I'm still waiting I expected this though but now my phone is totally dead and I'm starting to lose my mind. And then at 8.20pm the bus turns up... :-O seriously! I can't contact anyone have no idea where The boyfriend is so I stay at the bus stop and watch the bus I have been waiting 4 hours for drive off. 10 minuets later the boyfriend and his Mum turn up and ask if that was the bus that just went past it is all I can do not to cry!
The photo of me in my new PJ's is once I finally got home I have been standing for 6 hours solid and was so glad to be in the warm.
Wednesday and Thursday Christmas present slowly arrived despite the snow, the boyfriend is still off work due to still being ill so I have to play in the snow on my own in our garden while he takes pictures of me room the computer room of our house. On Thursday night the boyfriend is feeling better and we go on a midnight walking in the snow to Tesco (24hr one) To get goodies.
*Not the coolest picture ever but I really love snow well at least when I'm not stuck at a bus stop*
Friday: I decide to give the boyfriend one of his Christmas present early, and its his biggest one because he has been ill for a whole week and I know its killing him to know its under the bed. I give him his brand new xbox 360 the new black Thin one and watch him open it is amazing. Recently we haven't stuck to actual date for celebrations, valentines, anniversaries and so on thought why not keep with it. I can't remember the last time I got him a proper present for his birthday, Christmas or other occasion because we have been so broke and its just how I wanted it to be!
I feels like the week has wound down slightly from the beginning of the week and I'm so glad. The boyfriend is going out with his friends for the night I have a bath. When I get out he texts me ‘looks like a lock in not going to be home till late,’ this is totally fine with me I still have Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy to watch. I watch these and Disney's Sword In The Stone because we've only just got it and I so tried I'm falling asleep. I text the boyfriend to let him know I'm going to sleep (no reply) and I turn everything off and go to sleep.
10 minuets later I can hear shouting out side, and I think please God don't let be the boyfriend... Then our front door opens, oh no it is... OK well I know he's drunk from the shouting, but how drunk are we talking. This is easy to figure out with the boyfriend because the drunker he gets the more he bumps into stuff and the more unintentional noise is made... They is a lot of bumping into things and I know this is going to be hilarious because the boyfriend is one funny drunk... expect that as he walks through the door he is drunker than I have ever seen him he is totally white and he doesn't think anything is very funny at all. He fell over and on the ice and snow and has really damaged his hip, which he keeps calling his ankle. He actually can't stand up and he is trying to undress himself so I jump to his rescue.
I don't understand how he is this drunk, he sort of explains that he only got one round and everyone else was buying drinks and he keeps telling me it was worth it to be in with them down the pub (this has never mattered before but now is of top importance like it is the only thing he has ever wanted) I'm totally confused, then he goes on to tell me he has been dancing. I almost fall over at this information; if there are certain things I know about the boyfriend it is that,
1. He looks down on people that get this drunk. He normally doesn't see the point or he doesn’t drink at all.
2. He hates dancing and parties, which has lead to endless fights between us this happened only last week at my Sisters wedding.
But here he is all of those things it's like I've never met him before. I finally get him into bed. I go to get a drink when I get down stairs the shoe rack is broken, all of the coats are on the floor and the cats look truly scared and I can't blame them. When I return he is half asleep so I sit reading I want to make sure he is ok I have asked if he feels sick but he assures me he doesn't. As I'm reading his breathing changes and I know it means he is going to be sick I jump up and get the bathroom door wedged open, make sure there is a clear path to the toilet. I then haul him out of bed because his hip hurts and he is too drunk to stand on his own. I get him there on time he is sick and it is not pretty I run around getting drinks and cleaning up for another 2 hours while this happens on and off. He keeps telling me how sorry he is, how he knows how mad he would be if I came home like this (which he would!) how much he appreciates me, and how nice I am being. Which is actually quite funny but I'm totally exhausted at this point.
He finally stops being sick at quarter to 5, and he is asleep by 5am snoring and everything. I stay up till 6am just to make sure he is ok, at which point I can no longer fight sleep. As I drift off I remember we are both meant to be going shopping in the morning with his Mum and I know I'll be going alone.
Saturday: I wake up at half 11 and Future Mother-In-Law and I do indeed go shopping the rest of the day consisted of naps and TV watching and retelling the events that unfolded the night before.
Sunday: I cooked my first ever Beef Roast Dinner and it is delicious!
So that was last week, sorry the post was so long but so much happened I just had to share! I will continue this week with my sisters wedding and other stuff too. And will catch up with Advent. Hope your week was better. Also praying this week will be less eventful.
Love
Simone
xxxx
Sunday: I stayed up till midnight because I got paid from my new job that I haven't actually started yet because they are waiting for my CRB check to come back. Yeah I know it sounds to good to be true, (that’s why I waited up) but its actually happening, the month before Christmas and I haven't actually even been trained for the job yet! So being the optimist I am I brought all my Christmas presents online right there and then before some one realised they had made a mistake and would try to take it all back. (They never did try to take it back!) Then it was time for bed as the boyfriend had work the next morning.
Monday: The boyfriend and I got up; He got ready for work I made his lunch and sorted washing a boring stuff like that I posted on the blog. The we met on the bus the boyfriend gets home from work that if you stay on it goes all the way to a Lakeside shopping centre. We tried Gourmet Burger for the first time we loved it!
Also they serve Coca-Cola in the glass bottles boyfriend commented when he saw them about how happy he knew I would be. (First picture with the boyfriend in well sort of) So having just been paid we did the only thing to do spend it! I had after all sorted all my Christmas presents so we treated ourselves :) Also I booked an appointment at the opticians because not having the right glasses was now making me have headaches and feel sick!
Tuesday: The boyfriend felt rubbish the next day sometimes he just gets these hideous stomach ache and is sick for no reason what so ever, in the middle of the night we had decided that he wouldn't be going to work the next day. When we woke and opened the curtains there was snow... everywhere! But I had made my appointment at the opticians and was determined that a bit of snow wouldn't stop me. I got to the bus stop the bus arrived on time (I was shocked) it took slightly longer to get to Lakeside, but as the bus got closer all the outside parking was empty! Not a car in sight I thought it was closed it wasn't but inside it was pretty dead! I had my eye test done I had already picked out my frames they were Huge Boss frames that would cost £140 which almost killed me.
*Sorry for the horrible picture I will explain*
I'm really picky about frames because
1. I have a huge head and wide face, which means normally glasses look tiny on my face.
2. I hate this new trend of skinny glasses because all I do is look over and under them.
3. If they are not wide then I constantly notice the frame and it drives me crazy!
So I thought old school Ray Bans might be a good option I have been looking at them for well over a year and half but when actually tried them on they are tiny, made my head look huge. Also now every other hipster is now wear them! So not cool. (Sound like my mother) So I have the perfect frames then they inform me that lenses will be another £100!!! I don't really have a lot of choice but they say if I do have stuff to do then they can have them ready in 1 hour, £240 for glasses I should hope so lol. So I went and got some pyjamas, (See above picture.) and went and had something to eat. Got my glasses LOVE them and head of to the bus stop...
Well this is where it all goes wrong when I get to the bus stop it is like a blizzard out side the snow is seriously deep and it's freezing! I got to the bus stop at 4.45pm all other buses are coming every 20 minuets, my bus is delayed so I wait... and I wait, someone asks another bus driver if our bus is still running he informs us that it is, so I wait. Then I call the boyfriend to tell him what’s going on and he tells me it took his Mum an hour and a half to drive home from close to Lakeside to our house! Which meant even when the bus did turn up I wouldn't be home for ages. Ok its fine I said I wasn't going to let the snow get in my way. (Although it was sort of kicking my ass)
*This is me time with my new glases on waiting in the cold for the bus, I'm so bored*
I kid you not at 6.30pm our bus is still nowhere in sight, but every other bus is still coming every 20 minuets! So I text the Future Mother-In-Law and explain how long I have been waiting and that I am hearing they have closed the QE2 bridge that you sort of have to go near in order to get home by bus and that it will take me hours even if the bus does turn up. She at that point is cooking, she says if the bus is not there by 7.30pm she will come and get me (this is huge the weather was shocking! I could have kissed her) I am very grateful, happy even and then my phone flashes...
Low battery please connect charger less 10%. OH COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK! I have to turn my phone off and keep asking the people that are also stuck what the time is, and slowly they are getting picked up or taking other buses. I finally text at 7.20pm I really don't think the bus is going to show. I get a speedy reply of we're on our way! (Love the boyfriend and his Mum) But an hour later I'm still waiting I expected this though but now my phone is totally dead and I'm starting to lose my mind. And then at 8.20pm the bus turns up... :-O seriously! I can't contact anyone have no idea where The boyfriend is so I stay at the bus stop and watch the bus I have been waiting 4 hours for drive off. 10 minuets later the boyfriend and his Mum turn up and ask if that was the bus that just went past it is all I can do not to cry!
The photo of me in my new PJ's is once I finally got home I have been standing for 6 hours solid and was so glad to be in the warm.
Wednesday and Thursday Christmas present slowly arrived despite the snow, the boyfriend is still off work due to still being ill so I have to play in the snow on my own in our garden while he takes pictures of me room the computer room of our house. On Thursday night the boyfriend is feeling better and we go on a midnight walking in the snow to Tesco (24hr one) To get goodies.
*Not the coolest picture ever but I really love snow well at least when I'm not stuck at a bus stop*
Friday: I decide to give the boyfriend one of his Christmas present early, and its his biggest one because he has been ill for a whole week and I know its killing him to know its under the bed. I give him his brand new xbox 360 the new black Thin one and watch him open it is amazing. Recently we haven't stuck to actual date for celebrations, valentines, anniversaries and so on thought why not keep with it. I can't remember the last time I got him a proper present for his birthday, Christmas or other occasion because we have been so broke and its just how I wanted it to be!
I feels like the week has wound down slightly from the beginning of the week and I'm so glad. The boyfriend is going out with his friends for the night I have a bath. When I get out he texts me ‘looks like a lock in not going to be home till late,’ this is totally fine with me I still have Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy to watch. I watch these and Disney's Sword In The Stone because we've only just got it and I so tried I'm falling asleep. I text the boyfriend to let him know I'm going to sleep (no reply) and I turn everything off and go to sleep.
10 minuets later I can hear shouting out side, and I think please God don't let be the boyfriend... Then our front door opens, oh no it is... OK well I know he's drunk from the shouting, but how drunk are we talking. This is easy to figure out with the boyfriend because the drunker he gets the more he bumps into stuff and the more unintentional noise is made... They is a lot of bumping into things and I know this is going to be hilarious because the boyfriend is one funny drunk... expect that as he walks through the door he is drunker than I have ever seen him he is totally white and he doesn't think anything is very funny at all. He fell over and on the ice and snow and has really damaged his hip, which he keeps calling his ankle. He actually can't stand up and he is trying to undress himself so I jump to his rescue.
I don't understand how he is this drunk, he sort of explains that he only got one round and everyone else was buying drinks and he keeps telling me it was worth it to be in with them down the pub (this has never mattered before but now is of top importance like it is the only thing he has ever wanted) I'm totally confused, then he goes on to tell me he has been dancing. I almost fall over at this information; if there are certain things I know about the boyfriend it is that,
1. He looks down on people that get this drunk. He normally doesn't see the point or he doesn’t drink at all.
2. He hates dancing and parties, which has lead to endless fights between us this happened only last week at my Sisters wedding.
But here he is all of those things it's like I've never met him before. I finally get him into bed. I go to get a drink when I get down stairs the shoe rack is broken, all of the coats are on the floor and the cats look truly scared and I can't blame them. When I return he is half asleep so I sit reading I want to make sure he is ok I have asked if he feels sick but he assures me he doesn't. As I'm reading his breathing changes and I know it means he is going to be sick I jump up and get the bathroom door wedged open, make sure there is a clear path to the toilet. I then haul him out of bed because his hip hurts and he is too drunk to stand on his own. I get him there on time he is sick and it is not pretty I run around getting drinks and cleaning up for another 2 hours while this happens on and off. He keeps telling me how sorry he is, how he knows how mad he would be if I came home like this (which he would!) how much he appreciates me, and how nice I am being. Which is actually quite funny but I'm totally exhausted at this point.
He finally stops being sick at quarter to 5, and he is asleep by 5am snoring and everything. I stay up till 6am just to make sure he is ok, at which point I can no longer fight sleep. As I drift off I remember we are both meant to be going shopping in the morning with his Mum and I know I'll be going alone.
Saturday: I wake up at half 11 and Future Mother-In-Law and I do indeed go shopping the rest of the day consisted of naps and TV watching and retelling the events that unfolded the night before.
Sunday: I cooked my first ever Beef Roast Dinner and it is delicious!
So that was last week, sorry the post was so long but so much happened I just had to share! I will continue this week with my sisters wedding and other stuff too. And will catch up with Advent. Hope your week was better. Also praying this week will be less eventful.
Love
Simone
xxxx
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Our random little world
Happy Weekend! I hope you relaxing or just doing all the things you like. So far this morning the boyfriend and I sat in bed and listened to Radiohead then he made me bacon sandwiches and tea :D so it already a pretty good weekend.
The boyfriend works for a small company where there are only three people in the office the boyfriend, another woman and their boss who doesn’t come in until after 2pm. So he spends a fair bit of time looking at all sorts of funny things and oddities on the websites. He then sends me this and we both laugh its always childish and a totally waste of time so I thought I’d share them with you every Saturday! They could be pictures, websites, jokes or videos hope you like.
The Scale of things...
http://thechive.com/2009/09/21/small-earth-big-universe/
Wall-e is one of my fave films ever this made me scream when I saw it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As7UQtKX00c
Now I love really bad joke really terrible ones I'm sorry...
'I once threw a boomerang to a ghost. That'll come back to haunt me.'
'Went to buy 6 cans of Sprite, turns out I picked 7up.'
Awww!
When the Boyfriend sent me this picture the title of the email was Best picture Ever!
So this is the random stuff that makes us giggle though you might like it too think i'll do this every saturday.
Love
Simone & The Boyfriend
xxxx
The boyfriend works for a small company where there are only three people in the office the boyfriend, another woman and their boss who doesn’t come in until after 2pm. So he spends a fair bit of time looking at all sorts of funny things and oddities on the websites. He then sends me this and we both laugh its always childish and a totally waste of time so I thought I’d share them with you every Saturday! They could be pictures, websites, jokes or videos hope you like.
The Scale of things...
http://thechive.com/2009/09/21/small-earth-big-universe/
Wall-e is one of my fave films ever this made me scream when I saw it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As7UQtKX00c
Now I love really bad joke really terrible ones I'm sorry...
'I once threw a boomerang to a ghost. That'll come back to haunt me.'
'Went to buy 6 cans of Sprite, turns out I picked 7up.'
Awww!
When the Boyfriend sent me this picture the title of the email was Best picture Ever!
So this is the random stuff that makes us giggle though you might like it too think i'll do this every saturday.
Love
Simone & The Boyfriend
xxxx
Monday, 15 November 2010
I'm sick
When I get home I am less cared for, the boyfriend has been in doors all weekend playing his xbox. The room is a total mess, the 2 loads of washing I sorted before I left one was done just before I came home other one still on the floor. The boyfriend huffs when I ask for any type of help.
This morning I get up with him at 7 even though I feel like crap, I make his lunch, make him coffee, tumble dry the things he needs, I hang the washing he put on but didn't sort out after he asks me to take his clothes up that are now dry... I do and I download his programs.
But when I asked him to bring cups down did he no. When I called him on not tiding this weekend or this morning does he say sorry no he starts a fight and storms off to work. Leaving me to tidy everything when its taking all my effort to stand and I know I'm having a rant and I'm sorry but today this just too much...
Love a very sick Un-looked-after and put out
Simone
xxxx
Friday, 12 November 2010
Just my life really…
So this is just a post to tell you what going. Today I went and gave all my account details to my new job so I can be paid at the end of this month, hooray! While I was there I saw my name up with all the other training advisers and it was so good that I had to call the boyfriend at work and tell him.
This weekend is my sisters wedding rehearsal and I’m doing a reading, (I’m dysexic by the way so I’m starting to worry that I’ll just forget how to read) I shall tell of the reading closer to the wedding. But I had free rein to pick the reading and when my sister read it she cried so I’m glad she loves it. Not long to the wedding now and we’re all getting very excited.
The rehearsal is on Sunday but the trains are complete rubbish that day (what a surprise) and it would take me like an hour and a half to get there and it starts at 11am so you get forget me getting up that early. So I’m stay at Mum and Dad’s Saturday, which is ok but they have the most uncomfortable sofa bed EVER! But shock horror my Mum is coming to get me! Which is almost unheard of. My Dad will finally have fixed our computer and we will have it home on Sunday thank goodness. I will also get to see Mum’s lovely ginger cats Fat Head and Grumpy. (Not their real names but that’s what I call them) At the moment we’re using future mothering laws computer but I can’t wait to have my Itunes and pictures back!
This all adds up to a very good weekend for the boyfriend who has our room to himself to play Rock Band 3 and other such xbox 360 treats.
So I hope your Friday is going well I might post again before Monday I may not (it’s one of those lazy weekends you see) but I will defiantly be here Monday to tell you about the rehearsal! Sorry for the not very exciting post but it is very exciting to me!
Love
Simone
xxxx
This weekend is my sisters wedding rehearsal and I’m doing a reading, (I’m dysexic by the way so I’m starting to worry that I’ll just forget how to read) I shall tell of the reading closer to the wedding. But I had free rein to pick the reading and when my sister read it she cried so I’m glad she loves it. Not long to the wedding now and we’re all getting very excited.
The rehearsal is on Sunday but the trains are complete rubbish that day (what a surprise) and it would take me like an hour and a half to get there and it starts at 11am so you get forget me getting up that early. So I’m stay at Mum and Dad’s Saturday, which is ok but they have the most uncomfortable sofa bed EVER! But shock horror my Mum is coming to get me! Which is almost unheard of. My Dad will finally have fixed our computer and we will have it home on Sunday thank goodness. I will also get to see Mum’s lovely ginger cats Fat Head and Grumpy. (Not their real names but that’s what I call them) At the moment we’re using future mothering laws computer but I can’t wait to have my Itunes and pictures back!
This all adds up to a very good weekend for the boyfriend who has our room to himself to play Rock Band 3 and other such xbox 360 treats.
So I hope your Friday is going well I might post again before Monday I may not (it’s one of those lazy weekends you see) but I will defiantly be here Monday to tell you about the rehearsal! Sorry for the not very exciting post but it is very exciting to me!
Love
Simone
xxxx
Friday, 5 November 2010
funfairs and fireworks...
Its fireworks night and I really love it, I didn’t so much when I was a kid I had hearing problems that meant it was always to loud but one night 3 years ago changed all that.
The first year the boyfriend and I were together he told me about this huge funfair that gets set up on a farm near us and they do fireworks as well. Some things you should know about the boyfriend and me, we’re not crazy about going out and having a wild time we’re old souls. Secondly, we’re not big on public displays of romance or affection. We’re very private and it works for us.
So we went to the fair now I get motion sickness if I get up to quickly (honestly I’m terrible!) and we got there and he said come on the waltzer with me. (Now I thought it would be like the ones I have been on before the little kiddie ones that go slow WRONG!) So blinded by love I went on it. I was almost sick, felt like my neck had been broken and I couldn’t see what direction to walk in order to get off. The boyfriend found this most amusing.
But this rest of the night was amazing I didn’t pay for a single thing all night, I had my first ever lemon and lime slush and now when ever I have one it takes me right back to that night and how in love and young I was. Its beautiful standing in a field that is normally empty and dark, but is for one night filled with all different kind of people and the bright lights and sounds of the rides and stalls.
We share hot donuts and I have sickly sweet treats like dummy rocks and honeycomb at the back of the fair where it’s dark and wait with everyone else for the fireworks. Excited children on sugar highs, playing with all the things they have won, surround us. And the fireworks start and their amazing well worth the money we paid to get in and everything goes quite apart from the children wowing at their favourite fireworks. The boyfriend holds me tight as we watch the fireworks everything is perfect and I have a huge smile on my face one of the best nights of my life.
Now we go every year we went last night and it was just as romantic and perfect as the first year. Filled with warm donuts, lemon and lime shushes and cuddles under the exploding fireworks. I could never fully do justice with words how much I love this night spent with the boyfriend and how romantic it is but I’m sure everyone has one night that they know changed their relationship forever in the most amazing way!
Love
Simone
xxxx
The first year the boyfriend and I were together he told me about this huge funfair that gets set up on a farm near us and they do fireworks as well. Some things you should know about the boyfriend and me, we’re not crazy about going out and having a wild time we’re old souls. Secondly, we’re not big on public displays of romance or affection. We’re very private and it works for us.
So we went to the fair now I get motion sickness if I get up to quickly (honestly I’m terrible!) and we got there and he said come on the waltzer with me. (Now I thought it would be like the ones I have been on before the little kiddie ones that go slow WRONG!) So blinded by love I went on it. I was almost sick, felt like my neck had been broken and I couldn’t see what direction to walk in order to get off. The boyfriend found this most amusing.
But this rest of the night was amazing I didn’t pay for a single thing all night, I had my first ever lemon and lime slush and now when ever I have one it takes me right back to that night and how in love and young I was. Its beautiful standing in a field that is normally empty and dark, but is for one night filled with all different kind of people and the bright lights and sounds of the rides and stalls.
We share hot donuts and I have sickly sweet treats like dummy rocks and honeycomb at the back of the fair where it’s dark and wait with everyone else for the fireworks. Excited children on sugar highs, playing with all the things they have won, surround us. And the fireworks start and their amazing well worth the money we paid to get in and everything goes quite apart from the children wowing at their favourite fireworks. The boyfriend holds me tight as we watch the fireworks everything is perfect and I have a huge smile on my face one of the best nights of my life.
Now we go every year we went last night and it was just as romantic and perfect as the first year. Filled with warm donuts, lemon and lime shushes and cuddles under the exploding fireworks. I could never fully do justice with words how much I love this night spent with the boyfriend and how romantic it is but I’m sure everyone has one night that they know changed their relationship forever in the most amazing way!
Love
Simone
xxxx
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Happy Halloween!
A little story for you the first Halloween the boyfriend and I spend together we went to the supermarket to get a pumpkin but they were sold out as it was the night of Halloween. Having never done much for it because my mum hates Halloween I really wanted to have a pumpkin.
So as we were walking home we walked past a house with loads of lit jack o'lanterns. And the boyfriend being all romantic and trying to impress his new girlfriend stole a pumpkin while the candle was still burning inside. (he left the money for it) I was so impressed that I sort of blocked out the stealing with the romance lol and its something we joke about every year now....
Love Simone
xxxx
P.S. photo from we heart it.
P.P.S. gossip about the hen party in it's way this week but I'm still recovering.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4
Saturday, 23 October 2010
A little perspective...
Today while waiting for the bus there was a couple that could have only been 16 at the oldest. They were dressed in uniforms for a good school aschool their parents had to work to get them into. The boy had stripes on his blazer for sports and swimming and the girl had an art portfolio at her feet.
When I really looked though the girl was rocking back and forward, shaking so aggressively and sobbing so much that she was struggling to breath. Her eyes were completely glazed over she had no idea that the world was still continuing around her the reason for this was explained by what she was muttering in-between sobs "I can't be pregnant, I can't be pregnant".
It killed me to watch her to know how she feels. That her whole world was now changed and what ever she decides to do now will stay with her forever. She looked so young and frightened.
But the beautiful in her sadness was her boyfriend, his face was white and occasionally he looked around at the world almost begging for someone to give him the answers but even in his own shock he never let go of her. He held her close stroked her face and told her again and again "i love you, I'm right here".
Never have I seen a purer love between to people. When their bus arrived she stood up her knees wobbly he supported her all the way to the bus.
I was an outsider today of someone's life altering moment but I've been that girl young with no money, no support and pregnant and it was honestly the worst time of my life. But now I'm doing so much better than ever before and I'm so unbelievably thankful. So my thoughts ever since have been with that frightened couple that I probably won't meet again but I wish with all my heart that this is the making and not the breaking of them....
Love
Simone
xxxx
When I really looked though the girl was rocking back and forward, shaking so aggressively and sobbing so much that she was struggling to breath. Her eyes were completely glazed over she had no idea that the world was still continuing around her the reason for this was explained by what she was muttering in-between sobs "I can't be pregnant, I can't be pregnant".
It killed me to watch her to know how she feels. That her whole world was now changed and what ever she decides to do now will stay with her forever. She looked so young and frightened.
But the beautiful in her sadness was her boyfriend, his face was white and occasionally he looked around at the world almost begging for someone to give him the answers but even in his own shock he never let go of her. He held her close stroked her face and told her again and again "i love you, I'm right here".
Never have I seen a purer love between to people. When their bus arrived she stood up her knees wobbly he supported her all the way to the bus.
I was an outsider today of someone's life altering moment but I've been that girl young with no money, no support and pregnant and it was honestly the worst time of my life. But now I'm doing so much better than ever before and I'm so unbelievably thankful. So my thoughts ever since have been with that frightened couple that I probably won't meet again but I wish with all my heart that this is the making and not the breaking of them....
Love
Simone
xxxx
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Easily pleased...
For the last week I have really struggled getting to sleep if I hear any noise it turns me into some night monster that shouts at people. My brain is so full of thoughts all the but sometimes they're not even important.
So yesterday it was just too much I told the boyfriend the night before to wake me when he got up but when I told him in the morning I haven't been sleeping he left me in bed. While laying in bed I realised I needed to turn the hot water to have a bath before work and I text the boyfriend asking him if he could do it.
The boyfriend left for work and hadn't turned the water on, he hadn't got my text but he did see the text while on the way to the bus stop. So when he did see it he came all the way back, back in the house to turn the water on.
I know I am easily pleased but this meant so much to me I suffer badly with joint pain so every single morning it feels like I've been hit by a truck and a really hot bath is one of the only things that help and when I did get up yesterday I really ached and I was exhausted and that act of love made my day.
It also made me late for work because the water was so lovely and warm that I laid there for ages soothing my aches and thinking how lucky I am. But totally worth it.
So when he got home and I told him he made my day and that it was a lovely thing he did, he was like oh ok it was no bother and couldn't even see why it was a big deal I love the boyfriend very much.
xxxx
So yesterday it was just too much I told the boyfriend the night before to wake me when he got up but when I told him in the morning I haven't been sleeping he left me in bed. While laying in bed I realised I needed to turn the hot water to have a bath before work and I text the boyfriend asking him if he could do it.
The boyfriend left for work and hadn't turned the water on, he hadn't got my text but he did see the text while on the way to the bus stop. So when he did see it he came all the way back, back in the house to turn the water on.
I know I am easily pleased but this meant so much to me I suffer badly with joint pain so every single morning it feels like I've been hit by a truck and a really hot bath is one of the only things that help and when I did get up yesterday I really ached and I was exhausted and that act of love made my day.
It also made me late for work because the water was so lovely and warm that I laid there for ages soothing my aches and thinking how lucky I am. But totally worth it.
So when he got home and I told him he made my day and that it was a lovely thing he did, he was like oh ok it was no bother and couldn't even see why it was a big deal I love the boyfriend very much.
xxxx
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3
Monday, 11 October 2010
And did you know no matter where it takes us now And did you know our love will never die...
I love reading blogs I recently got a new phone and I have apps galore for blogs one to write my posts one for keeping on top of all the blogs I love. It also helps me stay on top of my personal Facebook and then the blog Twitter and I'm currently working on a blog Facebook fan page.
The reason I tell you this is that when I started this blog I emailed a lot of the blogs I love, asking if I could say I love them on my blog and every single person that did reply to my emails (and it was most of them) did so with joy and encouragement saying if I needed anything to drop them an email.
I really didn't (and still don't really) know anything about blogging but I what I do know from my few few months of blogging is that this blog thing its all about community and its amazing! People told me just keep commenting on other blogs use Twitter and if your patient someone might read your blog. This happened last month when I commented on 'Rock My Wedding' and my blog got more views in the following hours than ever before! This made me very excited.
Then last night I was updating the blog and Twitter and a blog I love Hi-Fi Weddings started following me! ME! This caused for dancing and big smiles not only that but when I tweeted about it they tweed back! Even I only ever have one follow on twitter or only one person reads my blog a month I could never stop because I feel such pride in my little corner of the web and I can truly say I'm addicted to blogging!
What are your favorite blogs and what the most surprising or nicest thing that's happened to you while in blog land?
Love
Simone
xxxx
Song for today - Maria Taylor - Cartoons And Forever Plans
The reason I tell you this is that when I started this blog I emailed a lot of the blogs I love, asking if I could say I love them on my blog and every single person that did reply to my emails (and it was most of them) did so with joy and encouragement saying if I needed anything to drop them an email.
I really didn't (and still don't really) know anything about blogging but I what I do know from my few few months of blogging is that this blog thing its all about community and its amazing! People told me just keep commenting on other blogs use Twitter and if your patient someone might read your blog. This happened last month when I commented on 'Rock My Wedding' and my blog got more views in the following hours than ever before! This made me very excited.
Then last night I was updating the blog and Twitter and a blog I love Hi-Fi Weddings started following me! ME! This caused for dancing and big smiles not only that but when I tweeted about it they tweed back! Even I only ever have one follow on twitter or only one person reads my blog a month I could never stop because I feel such pride in my little corner of the web and I can truly say I'm addicted to blogging!
What are your favorite blogs and what the most surprising or nicest thing that's happened to you while in blog land?
Love
Simone
xxxx
Song for today - Maria Taylor - Cartoons And Forever Plans
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2
Saturday, 2 October 2010
So tonight I'll be your Brooklyn, So cold and yet so far away! Just tell me what you want for me to say, And if it brings you home...
I had a whole 2 years where things went from bad to extreme. A lot of things happened in a very short space of time. This lead to depression, which is something you don’t see coming until one day you are just in the thick of it. Well I sit before you nearly a whole year since I was put on anti-depressants and I can whole heartedly say you have to fight and struggle through all the pain to get to a better place and my word it’s worth it.
I didn’t see it but as I went into deeper I let the people that I love slip away. Some held on for dear life Like The Boyfriend and My Big Sister, others realised they would have to struggle to if they held on and they simple let go. I now see that its not because they didn’t care but because they knew they didn’t have it in them to help me get all the way to where you need to be.
Once they got me to the point where I knew I could do things for my self I was able to see how bad the depression had been. I also could see that I had to let the people that had supported me take a step back. I had to find out if I wanted to do things for myself, I had to decide what this new me really wanted and how I wanted my life to go. That took a really long to time to get up in the morning and say ok its not to bad, you’re not to bad, I can do this.
This week I have been at my new job for a month! And I also started to contact all the people that had to let me go in order for me to get better. Some people I won’t be friends with again because they lead a life that is not intone with mine and others will become better and stronger friends. The friends I have contacted so far have been so happy to hear from me and me its like nothing has change while we also know how much we have been through to get to this moment, unsure yet beautiful.
S
xxxx
Song for today: Wakey!Wakey! – Brooklyn (Acoustic Version)
I didn’t see it but as I went into deeper I let the people that I love slip away. Some held on for dear life Like The Boyfriend and My Big Sister, others realised they would have to struggle to if they held on and they simple let go. I now see that its not because they didn’t care but because they knew they didn’t have it in them to help me get all the way to where you need to be.
Once they got me to the point where I knew I could do things for my self I was able to see how bad the depression had been. I also could see that I had to let the people that had supported me take a step back. I had to find out if I wanted to do things for myself, I had to decide what this new me really wanted and how I wanted my life to go. That took a really long to time to get up in the morning and say ok its not to bad, you’re not to bad, I can do this.
This week I have been at my new job for a month! And I also started to contact all the people that had to let me go in order for me to get better. Some people I won’t be friends with again because they lead a life that is not intone with mine and others will become better and stronger friends. The friends I have contacted so far have been so happy to hear from me and me its like nothing has change while we also know how much we have been through to get to this moment, unsure yet beautiful.
S
xxxx
Song for today: Wakey!Wakey! – Brooklyn (Acoustic Version)
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