Saturday, 9 October 2010

I can do it...

When I was a child I always said "I can do it". First said on a swing in our garden my mum asked me if I needed her help to swing higher to which I replied, "No mummy I can do it, you go do your dishwash!" Then when I learnt to swim and ride a bike I said pretty much the same thing.

Somewhere along the line that little girl that could do anything in the whole world when she put her mind to it, either got lost or became mute. My sayings now seem to be, I'll give it ago, maybe I can or I can't do that on my own.

Recently when it has come to the wedding I have lost sight of that little girl all together and often find myself saying to the boyfriend that something just isn't possible, that I just can't do it on my own or at all. I wonder how the 5 year old me would feel about the person she grew into, I think she might be angry & ashamed and you know what that's how I feel about myself. Mainly because a while ago I commented on another blog about the difficult situation I have with my family and the way they feel about me and towards the wedding. When other ladies read my comment they said lots of lovely things but they also said that if my family could be nice or support me that I should just leave them behind and do it to make myself happy.

At the time this felt out of the question but the more I think about it if a friend put you down all the time or your job got in the way of your dream, would you take that or would you give them a talking to and tell them where they could go?

So why is it so hard to stand up for yourself and say what you want to your family. It's because its in built that they raised you and taught you. You should always show care and respect, but you know what if they won't show it to you, then stand up for yourself.

S and her 5 year old self

No song for today sorry.
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