I had a whole 2 years where things went from bad to extreme. A lot of things happened in a very short space of time. This lead to depression, which is something you don’t see coming until one day you are just in the thick of it. Well I sit before you nearly a whole year since I was put on anti-depressants and I can whole heartedly say you have to fight and struggle through all the pain to get to a better place and my word it’s worth it.
I didn’t see it but as I went into deeper I let the people that I love slip away. Some held on for dear life Like The Boyfriend and My Big Sister, others realised they would have to struggle to if they held on and they simple let go. I now see that its not because they didn’t care but because they knew they didn’t have it in them to help me get all the way to where you need to be.
Once they got me to the point where I knew I could do things for my self I was able to see how bad the depression had been. I also could see that I had to let the people that had supported me take a step back. I had to find out if I wanted to do things for myself, I had to decide what this new me really wanted and how I wanted my life to go. That took a really long to time to get up in the morning and say ok its not to bad, you’re not to bad, I can do this.
This week I have been at my new job for a month! And I also started to contact all the people that had to let me go in order for me to get better. Some people I won’t be friends with again because they lead a life that is not intone with mine and others will become better and stronger friends. The friends I have contacted so far have been so happy to hear from me and me its like nothing has change while we also know how much we have been through to get to this moment, unsure yet beautiful.
Song for today: Wakey!Wakey! – Brooklyn (Acoustic Version)