I'm only 20 years old but I have wanted a baby more importantly to be a mum since I was about 12, yes I know its crazy and I also knew at that age that I would be a terrible mother unable to support a child. I maybe crazy in my desire but I know that it is a huge responsibility.
Then last year I was pregnant and had a miscarriage there was nothing I or anyone else could have done, but at 12 weeks I lost my baby that I wanted so bad and it darned near killed me! The boyfriend dealt with it differently to me as I imagen most couples do I felt like a part of me was missing like everyday I got up and something wasn't right.
That feeling slowly reduced in time but some times it strikes but what happens everyday now is this over wellming want of a child of a family.
I work in a very busy mall at the moment and I see babies and pregnant woman and as they pass me I get the ache in my whole body that just wants a baby its totally crazy.
I doesn't help that my manager that's the same age as me is pregnant and keeps showing me all her baby stuff....
When I told the boyfriend he said, I know you want this but what could we give a child now? And I know he is totally right.but I wish someone would tell my body that its not time because if I have to go through the next 6 to 8 years with this feeling every time I see a baby or pregnant woman I might go mad!
Also I have these dreams that I'm pregnant or have had a baby and they feel so unbelievably real that when I wake up and there's no baby I'm totally confused and then as I realise this feeling of sadness sinks wish I could change my bodies mind.
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