Sunday, 19 December 2010

Upping my game...

Soooo what’s the deal Simone? You write a huge post once every couple of weeks and you call this a blog? That’s pretty much what I would be saying if I were a reader of this blog.

The write up of my sisters wedding didn’t really go to plan. I couldn’t really figure out why I was becoming so hard to write about and then I realised it’s not my day to tell. I don’t know the feelings and the secrets and that’s why blogs and magazines use real brides because they remember where as I am forgetting not everything but the details some of the emotions, my story will never be as good as my sister’s because she was the bride end of (also Big Sis totally not interested in writing about the wedding) Sorry folks.

Also, I'm struggling personally to find and hear my own voice. The boyfriend always says don’t write unless you suddenly get that urge to write, that there is something you need to tell everyone. He of course is totally right. (damn him)
What I can tell you about the wedding that I think you need to know is, How crazy jealous I was all day that overwhelming excitement that I felt the day before my sisters wedding and on the day was always slightly shadowed by the green eyed monster. I got engaged first why is this not my wedding, when ever my sister received some thing or someone did something I thought I hope people do this for me on my wedding day. I hate it; I really hate to admit that. But you it's the ugly truth.

On a better note the best things about my Sisters wedding for me were. Being the calm in my Sisters storm Sister 1 (bride) is very much like me but more of a control freak. Sister 2 (middle sister) is like a bull in a china shop 24/7 always loud, everything always has to be done now and never thinks before she speaks we love her for this. However on the wedding day the house was already loud enough, with 4 little bridesmaids, Mum, the hairdresser and two sisters. With food being cooked, hair being done, children’s DVD’s on and everyone having to get ready. I know how to be the stage hand, I knew what had to be done, when it had to be done, I knew how to keep all the girls entertained, I knew when Mum and Sister were being too much for Emma, I knew when she need everyone to back off. I know her better than I know anyone really.
The best part of the whole day was when everyone else was down stairs it was just Emma, Mum and Me in my old room. Mum had just got Emma into her dress and the calm and excitement she had felt all day suddenly turned into silence and nervousness. She got uncontrollable shakes and her eyes started to water. She tried to put her jewellery on but was shaking too much, so without making a huge deal I took over and put it on for her. She looked at me and said
“Simone, you’d tell me if I look stupid wouldn’t you, you wouldn’t let me go out in front of all those people if I looked silly would you.”
I started to tear up my sister who always had my back always looked out for me suddenly everything had been reversed. So I told her the truth
“Of course I wouldn’t tell you, you think I’m crazy we don’t exactly have a back up outfit…”
She laughed, thank the lord she laughed! That really could have backfired, but then seriously I said,
“You look the most beautiful I have ever seen you look, I love you to pieces!”
*Huge hug*
“Plus you look SO slim!”
Then I pinned on her something borrowed that I was lending her a red rose brooch.

My Second best bit of the day was at the end of the night she came to me and said to me I’d like you to have my bouquet, for everything you’ve done I love you so much. I was in tears again.

But something was not so great The boyfriend spent the whole reception looking like he would have loved to have been anywhere else, and using his phone continuously all night, yes really. Which meant that I spend the whole night with people asking if he was ok. Even my Sister, the bride! What do you say when the person you brought to your sisters wedding has a face like thunder and everyone thinks he's rude... there is not really anything you can say or do apart from tell them he he's happy on his phone don't worry about him and try and have a good time yourself. I call him on it a few times and he apologized but said after all I should know he hates parties... a few days before he said he would be fine if I got him really drunk at 10pm he decided he wasn't going to drink anymore (this now makes me furious if you read about the following Friday)

So I am so happy for my Sister her wedding was lovely! but I guess I felt resent towards her and let down by the boyfriend so writing about every detail would have been hard.


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  1. That's a very honest post. But your feelings were totally natural, though hard to admit.

    I must say I disagree with your OH - you should write anyway - as soon as you sit down to write, you will find something to write about. It's the only way to do it.

  2. I'm sorry your BF was acting up so badly, they really know how to be annoying sometimes!

    I enjoy reading your posts, and I agree with Claire, sometimes you just have to sit down and write x

  3. My head isn't big enough for all of my thoughts - hence the spare ones that I write down.
    I like Claire appreciate your honesty - when you can identify the feelings you can understand why you felt them and move past it. I've a feeling that my big sister (#2) had a hard time watching me get married when she would so love to be getting married too, but her relationship just isn't at that point yet.

  4. It really does help to even write about it see the words of how you feel to own it even when its not great and I've found the blog so helpful and reading other blogs too. The boyfriend and I are ready emotionally and have addressed the commitment and work a marriage takes its just money getting in the way. (isn't it always!)