Finding and discovering

Well I said in my last post that I would be explaining the revamp and where I'm going with the blog now that the wedding plans are off. The answer is really where ever the wind takes me. I'm saying this as a person that loves to have a plan and know where things are heading, that defiantly hates surprises.

In the last two years I have been activity in a job for 6 months not by choice. I have planned to get a job, (and keep it) planned to get married, planned to rent a place with the boyfriend, (difficult without a job, funny that) planned to go to university, planned to lose weight, planned to read more, planned to see more and to do more. Where did all those plans get me... Heartache and depression.

I am once again unemployed, I still living with my boyfriend but in his Mum's house, I am still engaged and have just called off our wedding, I have not started a degree or any course that will get me closer to teaching (the dream), I am probably heavier than I was 2 years ago but lighter than I was 1 year ago but nowhere near the weight I would like. I have a kindle I got it for Christmas as I assumed getting books when ever would make me read more often, wrong! I have been to so far this year one gig and 2 dates, I live so close to London that offers so much to see and yet I sit in our room watching TV box-sets and films. So the new plan is.. well to go with the flow a bit more. (some where my boyfriend is celebrating, I just know it)

The plan is to apply for university, I can do this in fact I have already started if I could just big myself up a bit and finish my personal statement it could be sent already. If I get in or not is up to the UCAS/university gods. The plan is to stay calm, fly off the handle me.... always. Does it help... No, does it just add to my stress until I'm crying and starting fights with the boyfriend... hell yeah it does. The other plans include having fun, this will encompass the doing/seeing aspect of the old plan. I'm always saying I'm this age I should have done this and that, or other people my age have done this why haven't I. So the things I do, I don't appreciate I do them just to tick them off some imaginary list. So the plan is to do things because there fun and they make me happy not because I should have done it.

Lastly I have never really fitted in, some cases I didn't fit in because I act and look older than my age, other times it's because I'm larger than the average size, or because of a whole list of different things. I always wanted to be someone else, I always thought I should try to keep up with fashion in order to fit in. So I never really found out what I liked or how I felt comfortable. So that is going to change I'm going to find a style and a lifestyle that suits me that makes me happy. I'm 20, I'm hopefully going to uni and moving this year there is no better time to start.

So the blog will be about me finding a discovering, clothes, music, art, books, hobbies, food and life. If you read some of the stuff and think hey I know something Simone would love then drop me a comment or a message and I'll tell you how it goes. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Love
Simone
xxxx